A Serious Message From Our CEO
People often ask me if I’m serious about cleanliness. Well, let me answer that question with a question. Does this look like the face of a man who would tolerate so much as a hint of filth?
I assure you, it is not.
I live my life by one very simple rule: “Anything worth doing is worth doing in a near-sterile environment.” Those are not empty words, mind you. Those words inspired me to create the greatest sanitizing wipe the world has ever known. A wipe so luxuriously soft yet unspeakably brutal on germs, capable of killing 99.9% of every microbe it touches.
I believe in this product. In fact, I had my assistant sanitize my keyboard with a Softy just before I sat down to write you this message. Of course, just to be safe, I wiped it down again myself because frankly I have no idea where my assistant has been.
Am I a germaphobe? No, that would suggest I live in fear of germs. The way I see it, they should live in fear of me.
So if you’ve ever looked at a hotel remote and shuddered; if a bathroom door handle horrifies you; if children’s grimy little fingers cause you to recoil, fear not, my friends. Softy wipes are here to protect you.
Take my immaculate, surgically-scrubbed hand in yours, and together we can make the world a little less gross.
Bacterial Battle Stories?
Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org